So I'm here again, starting a new diet. Setting a new goal. Setting a new deadline. What works for me: Low carbs/elliptical trainer. What I've been doing so far... sometimes low carb/stationary bike. My sister is getting married in June, my bff is getting married in August. I'm a bridesmaid for both. I have a size 16 dress for both. When I got them, they were both baggy. I think the salon women ordered mine bigger just in case. But I was measured at two different places by two different women, so they must be right and I must be making excuses. Oh right. So I was told when I purchased the dresses that I had the option, if the dresses didn't fit, to send them in and get another size. I took this as a challenge to lose weight and have to get smaller dresses.
I started a diet before Thanksgiving because I figured I would eat like a heffer and gain some more weight. I thought that if I started eating well before the season, it would be okay for me to eat a little during the holidays. Eat a little = eat pies and cookies and desserts. Sue me. So I did really well. I didn't gain any weight after Thanksgiving and even managed to lose about 15 lbs. Then, I am so going to blame my sister, but she came home from New York and she doesn't have Portillo's or delicious pizza, so I couldn't let her eat alone. I abandoned my diet AND exercise and didn't start back up until about a week ago. Damn it. Once I get off the train and stay off for a week, I stay off.
There's a guy that I have had a crush on since I was in grade school. I am 30 3/4 now. He is still as dreamy as I remember him. We have reconnected through social media and eventually started texting back and forth saying we need to meet up. Yeah yeah yeah. He's in my phone as my dreamboat with one of these <3. There's no way I would meet him after 15 years of eating and eating and yo yo dieting and chocolate, cakes, cookies, carbs, beer, and fast food. I am surely not the chick that he remembers. It was St. Patty's Day this past year and he texted me saying we should meet up. OH EM GEE! I was just playing along with the "we should meet up" stuff, not guessing that he was serious. I need to lose some weight first!!!! I didn't know he was so close to actually wanting to meet up. I need to get my ass moving. Literally.
Mr. Dreamboat is not the reason, nor is the upcoming wedding season the reason... nor are my skinny gorgeous sisters the reasons. I am unhappy. The one thing that makes me truly happy is being skinny. Oh I have been skinny before. It's staying skinny. It's like quitting smoking. You can quit everyday, but it's staying smoke free. With dieting, it's just that. A diet. Something you eventually get off of or stop doing. I need to think of it as a lifestyle change. I always forget how much better I feel when I am off the grease, but at the time, it just feels so yummy (for a minute) to bite into some orange chicken from Panda Express or some french fries from... hell, anywhere. I feel better when I am eating well and eating right and working out regularly. It's just that I don't know how to do "in moderation." In moderation turns into "always" for me. Then the 20 lbs I lost turns into 15, 10, 5, then +5. Oh well, this last time hasn't turned into +5 but it has turned into gained everything I lost this last time.
Here's to the future and adopting a lifestyle change this time. Stay tuned.
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